Monday, November 11, 2013

minor freakout about the future

The big question you get asked every once in awhile: What do you want to do when you grow up?

I hate the fact that I know this easy breezy school thing is going to end soon, I hate the fact that I've let myself fall into this pretense where the hardest thing about my school is test weeks and homework.. Like it's all like it used to be. Well, during last week it hit me. In approximately 3 months I'll be doing the FINAL finals and I need to do good because I need to think of the future and what I want to do? I have my plans, but I'm scared they're not what I really want. I don't want to make the wrong mistake and then realize that I missed out on all the stuff I truly wanted to do.
I want to experience the university life style, that according to my friends is pretty sweet, but I also want to see the world, and I want to do it when I'm still young.
So the question is, what am I going to do next year?

I'm hoping that I'll get into whichever university I decide to apply for. I understand that some of my bigger dreams are going to have to stay as dreams and it's ok. You can't have it all, but I want to make the right choice on the first try and it scares me a little bit (OK, a lot). I'm also hoping that I'll have the guts to take a year off and travel to foreign places. Somewhere I've never been before.

You see, I might be many things (man, this psychology essay is messing with my head), but mostly I'm a dreamer, and being the person I am, I want to pursue those dreams because I know (or at least think I know) that not pursuing those dreams, would lead me to regret it later on in life.

So long story short, I was just wondering what I'm going to do with my life and how I'm going to do it because I'm not stupid. I know seeing the world isn't cheap. I'm not naive. I know it's not easy to get to the university I'm thinking of applying to right now and I know I need to get a heck of a lot better grades then the ones I got this fall, but I also think that if you don't even dear to dream, how will you ever get anything? Things don't just fall into your hands by accident.

I really should stop studying psychology. I'm over analyzing everything again. Haha. Now I need to actually start writing that essay and do my government homework (for like the first time this period, jk). Later on I'm going to see if spinning is okay for me to do with my shoulder. It should be since it's mostly about using your legs and core. I'm excited!!!

Sorry for the super long post, without any proper pictures. The next ones will have some, I promise!


Jasmin said...

No stress! Ja hade helt samma fiilis ett år sen men nä man ha börja studera i uni så blir de mycke självklarare att man bra kan byta de man studerar senare om man int trivs... O de finns massor me möjliheter att fara utomlands o studera fö t.ex ett år så där får du den drömmen uppfulld med! :)

Ansku said...

Haha! Good to know :) D e ba att ja vill gora hela den dar reppureissaaja juttun, men allt fixar sig nog! Jag ba hade en major freakout